Finally I did it!

I’ve been getting infertility treatment for 3 years and I finally did it!
I am pregnant for 2 months. It just 2 months but this is a great one step for me.
A medical examination is once a week and everytime I am very nervous about seeing the growth of my baby I wonder if something bad thing happens to us or not… Every the day before a examination I cannot sleep well, feel sick and wake up earlier than usual. I don’t realize but probably I am so nervous.
Today the womb hurts so much and I have a heavy menstrual discharge. What symptom is this…?
Last time I had a brown menstrual discharge, I had a heavy menstrual discharge before it.. oh my god, scared..

I’ve been taking leave from beginning of Oct and I am supposed to be back in Dec.
But I was supposed to return in Nov but… I am going to ask my company to expand the period until end of Nov.
I feel really sorry to my coworkers but but but my priority no.1 is keeping the baby in health until giving a birth. I worry that I should quit my job before going on maternity leave in order not to cause my coworkers more troubles.. If I go on maternity leave, my company cannot hire new person but If I quit, they can hire new person and my coworkers can take over my jobs. sorry again to everyone for my baby.


My day

I was frustrated so much today because of Egypt and Singapore. I am not native but their English is too strong.
I understand they don’t mean like that but they made me mad… Now is end of month and so busy but I go hospital everyday and I am more busy.. But but but Today I found THAT!!! I cannot be relief completely yet but I stepped toward to our dream.

River Love

I love river! I want to live river side in the future the house has huge balcony and have BBQ party there over looking the river with my friends. There are kids playing in the river and the adults chatting with drinking beer.
Wow, what a nice day isn’t it? Also I want to try camping someday. When I was in my hometown I didn’t realize but I love nature and am eager to live with nature now. Tokyo is very convenient of course. There are a lot of fun things but I want nature power. Someday if I could have a baby, I want the baby to learn how to live in nature and want to be able to touch many bugs. We may move to my husband or my hometown.

Watching a Soccer Match in Yokoham

I went to Yokohama to have a Chinese lunch and to watch a soccer match with my husband. The day was so hot and humid but was so fun. Soccer is one of common hobby for us. The most laugh moment was the two guys in front of us. The one of guy said when a player keep holding a ball a bit long 「よくばりすぎだよ。食いしん坊!!」 I couldn’t stop laughing and I thought it was good to come here because I could hear the best phrase in my life.

Shopping with my husband in Harajyuku & Aoyama

Today is sunny day and we went out for shopping to look around my swimming wear!! Next week I will go to a pool with my friends so I went out to find new swim wear. The last one I bought was about 5 years ago.. I cannot wear it anymore. I marked Kariang’s one down since I’ve seen it in website. I wanted the short pants also but the same color with swim wear was sold out there but it is only one left in Shibuya shop but I didn’t want to move to there so I give it up and decided to be on diet until next week. My thigh is getting bigger and bigger and it is hard to see it without a short pants now but two weeks diet gives me some good effect to my thigh hopefully..

Also I met a shop stuff she usually works in Osaka but she is in Tokyo for three months. I thought I saw her face but I couldn’t remember at the time but I noticed that I saw her in Kariang web. I always thought she is small, slim and so cute and the real was of course cute!! I may change my hair color to much more dark like her.
I believe the shortest way to be a girl like Kariang stuff is copying favorite stuff initially and later try to add my original. I want to enjoy fashion so let’s start a diet and copying stuffs and original will be added later!!!!

So, I go to swimming now. see you then.

Shopping day

I and husband went to Ebisu to pick up the repaired necklace. We had Thai food for lunch and moved to Harajuku to visit Kariang which was opened on April. They were on Sale so I bought a Skirt and T-shirts and socks. kk.
And look around the back street of Harajuku and I found Kate Spade Saturday then luckly I found one-day trip bag which is incredibly functional!!! The design is not so my type but the function is beyond it. And we moved to Omotesando Hills and look around inside but there weren’t fascinated for us so we went to home by subway.
My husband had headache when I was shopping at Kariang but he didn’t say anything to me and he was waited until my shopping is finished. Thanks my husband!!! Love you.


4days continuous vacation

I took off on Thu and Fri with pay to be just relax at home. I don’t go out side and stay at home to put the precious egg on myself. These days I spend time like after I quite job then I feel that I can adjust this time schedule.
I really wanna have a baby this time. I really really hope that we can be parents. My husband prays at shrine after his job almost everyday, I hope his kindness makes us happy.
This step-up treatment was taught us that my egg and husband sperm doesn’t go along well. Ours needs artificial assistance for having a baby. I am a bit glad to know the cause of not having a baby by AIH.

Anyway if we cannnot have a baby this time, I quit my job and do job at home and concentrate myself infertile.
The result of my pregnancy test will be opened in two weeks, I cannot wait..

Reset again

I got my period last Thursday when I was at office so I wasn’t so depress comppare coz I could keep myself busy to forget about it. And also I expected that I have my period this month again. I don’t know why but we cannot have a baby normally then we need to the advanced tecnology method. Oh my god how much going to take for this? It is pretty unfair someone have a baby but they don’t want to but who really want to have it cannot get it… Oh my life, I didn’t know that have a baby is so expensive. I should have taken care of my health. But there is no point in regretting what I have done so I am going to take care of myself from today!!!

Relax weekend

This weekend I didn’t do anything and just I was relaxed at my home with my hasband. oh, I went to Yasukuni shrine and walked along Imperial palace to see cherry blossom from early-evening. We ate Kebabu and some chiken skewers and had dinner at Indinan restaurant in Jinbocho. and then we walked to Ochanomizu sta. and took sobu line to go home.
This was the first time to go Yasukuni although my juninor college is very near it. I really regret that I didn’t walk around the college after school at all. What on the earth was my two years college life…? I hate myself…
I still don’t know what I want to do and I really don’t like my apprearance. I tried diet hundred times but never ever compete it. what on the earth my life?

Korean restaurant

I went to the Korean restaurant near my house with my hasband and ate Tofu soup that was so yummy. I really enjoyed it. Mom talked to me and I was happy like we are recognized as a frequent customer!! I had heavy stomachahe… feel like my period comes soon.

Cherry blossom viewing

Today I went to Meguro river side to see Cherry bloosom after work. This was the first time to go there, there were so many nice restaurants between station and river. A lot of standing wine bars, nice atmoshere restaurants anyway there was great town!! I want to live there but must be the rent is expensive though… I also like the Meguro cinema. The cinema shows past moveis which are not showed anymore usual cinemas. I was helped them many times to see some movies which I missed to see them in theater. Now I wanna have a baby and give up drinking so I cannot fully enjoy Meguro restaurants but someday in near future, I go there with my firends and dring a lot of beers and wine as mush as I can without thinking anything!!!

I hate myself

Why my body gives me terrible things to me!? I keep working for me but my body haven’t given me anything!!!
What should I do more for myself? Am I bad? Am I worng? What on the earth wants from me more? Pleae let me know.
I don’t want to waste of my time anymore even 1month. I can’t stand seriously anymore.
I drunk beer after long absence. It made me relax and happy. I love alchol!!
If I could have a bady I believe I can quit drining for a while so please give me a baby sooner and wanna dring without any worries!!!!! If God exists, Please really help me from this tough days. I almost break down…

12/13 Hospital

I left office early and went to women’s hospital for first check of this month. today is 9th but it is getting bigger and I got injection. then I realized that taking a bath to makes my body warm and have a well-balance dinner is good for body.
Than another important thins is increasing the number of that. Not only that but also the thing is important. We have to to do our best!!!

12/12 My teeth

Oh my god~~~~!! My teeth turned brown what is more Front teeth!!! I have to go my dentist tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, otherwise I cannot laugth. I am going to brush my teeth after every lunch after visiting my dentist.
I cannnot stand dirty teeth.. On my god~~~


I had to be hard on a guy coz he made mistakes and I really really don’t like it. do I want to be loved everyone? I really wana quit my job.

12/10 Today’s work

I really don’t like to be hard on someone like today even though he is wrong.. I understand I have to say more strongly but I cannot do this. And I pause to realize that I really dont’t like my job and not suit for me. It is really hard to keep working with thinkng I don’t like it. I need to do something happy thing on weekend. I want to go somewhre by car. I wanna go to the trickart in Nasu!

12/9 Discharged water

My room’s bath have so much trouble of drainage after taking bath. I cannot stand it anymore I have to call our building manater. Shu must have felt stress about it, sorry.
The girl on the TV now is only 27 year-old and she is chief editor of fashion magagine. Wow. I was watching “Sarameshi” but these kind of not healthly lunch is not good for her body. The strong working women are everywhere. Am I easy on myself? Who cares.

New iphone5s

Finally I changed to iphone5s Yay! Internet runs so smoothly and feel so good!
This morning I went to Hair salon –> iphone change –> Nail salon –> My friend’s house for dinner. I had a very productive day.

I took PM off with my co-worker and saw [Eien no zero] at a preview!!! Our seat were on the extremely left on 2nd floor but still Okada-kun made us so crazy. The movie had almost same story as the novel and so good. We had been crying since the movive started till end. We couldn’t help crying to see it because we are very impressed the original novel.
Also when we left the preview place, we met Mr.Yamazaki, director of this movie. We shook hands with him and his hands were so soft.. like a baby! We also met Mr.Hyakuta writer of this novel but we couldn’t get his autograph.. oh, I should have said something nifty thing..

after all, my period came again. I feel even more keenly that my body is not ready yet for pregnant. I just have to adjust my body for this year. I defenitely adjust and make my body for pregnant!

Next clinic appointment is 13th or 14th. But this is 11th from period so I think it is too early. I really cannot believe the doctors in the hospital. they never answer my questions emopathetically at all. they never worry their patients they just want to see more patiens and want more money. If I could be pregant, I never go there when we want to 2nd baby.

After long absense, I had a makeup lesson. I learned how to make turn down eyes and shiny base. I like it.
Next is last lesson and I am going to ask how to use lip pensil and eye lush. oh, I need to make a resevation.

Women’s clinic

I left my office earlier and went to women’s clinic. Although the time a doctor spent to me was only 3min but I waited about 45min at waiting room. How ridicurous it is everytime. I am going to take a medicine once a day at night after dinner from tomorrow for 5days. And revisit the clinic 10days later before Korean trip. I hope next visit will be the day we return from Korea on 18th. We will arrive at Narita around 12pm so probably I can visit before 5pm which hours is not so crowed. I really hope we can see a baby. I went to my brother’s new-build house this weekend with my hasband by train and we met nephews after all the time. Older nephew will be 6 years next Feb and he is fully grown man 🙂 He knows well about trains and subways and he explained about it to us. It was so cute and we are also surprised that he is so mature. He tried to drink “coffee” alghough he couldn’t finish it but still cute.
I want to have a baby like him 🙂

This weekend

Im going to go shopping and have a dinner with my friends in Shibuya. We are ganna go to Yakiniku, I am really excited it!
I’ve been wanted to eat MEAT with Beer!! Recently I cannot drink beer same as before and I am dissapointed myself. Especially last week I drunk wine but my friend and I couldn’t finish it. This weekend I wanna try myself.

Moving of my best friend

My friend moved to the new place due to various reasons and I helped the move then stayed over at her place last night.
After putting almost stuff to propery places and received new bed, shelf and table, I felt there is sooo cozy and comfortable 🙂
I really wanna move to west side of Tokyo! The people live in there is different from east side totally. I saw an old woman spitted on the road in the early morning before near the station. If I would have a baby I dont want her or him to see such a kind of people. I believe the enviroment is the most important and it will impact on a baby’s future.
I wanna move west side, have a baby and lose my weight!!!

Tokyo Skytree with Mom

I went to Skytree with Mom last weekend finally. She wanted to go there to check “Moonmie shop” but it was much smaller than we expected but we got a lot of stuff ^^ I bought a mug of Mi for mom as her late birthday present. I want her to use it every morning with coffee. I also checked much larger Moomine shop in Nikotama I waana go there soon. We had Sushi lunch in Soramachi which was kinda expensive but mom treated me, thanks mom 😉 Then we went to Planetarium which I’ve been wanted to go since I was in Toronto. I went to there in Toronto but I wasn’t impressed it unfortunately. The Soramachi planetarium has three different stories depends on show time. 20:00 and 21:00 has Hearling planetarium I want to see it with my hasdand.

We talked about Trip. we’ve been wated to go Italy for three years. I wened to there two years ago as honeymoon so I feel a bit guilty… If I had a baby we cannnot go there at least 5 years. so I think this is the time to go in this year.
I want to have a baby but also I want to have a lot of memory with mom before she gets older. I can easily expect it will be very tough trip and be upset many times but 10 or 20 years later it will be a good memory defenitely.

I love you, mom.

Library wars in Meguro cinema

I went to Meguro cinema with my co-workers to see Library wars!!! The movie was finished in usual theaters but it is played only this week in Meguro cinema 🙂 I believe it is kind of our luck to see Okada-kun in the movie begore releasing their DVD. We are totally into the original novels and crazy about it. Thus The God let me find a sports bra at crossover bridge and inform me that the movie will be go on again for us to see Okada-kun. Thank you so much, I really appreciate it.

It wasn’t completed the whole novel story but it seems like it will be issued sequel story like love story.
Before that, we have to go to see ” Eien no Zero” in Dec 2013. I hope until then I’m going to have a baby..
I forgot to take antibiotics completely.. Oh my god.

Date with my hasband in Kuramae

I love Kuramae! The main food the restaurant we went is a kind of special brown rice with some side dishes. We wanted fish or meat dish but all sold out so we had only some small one. After then, we went to the furniture shop and stationary shop. We can make original note books from parts. Choose front and back covers and also inside paper too. The inside paper can be changed at the store. so we can use the covers for years 🙂 This is a great thing, isnt’t it? I made a notebook for next year! I’m ganna use it with caution.
Then we moved to Asakusabashi sta. by walk and went to Kinshicho to watch futsal game. It was very fun I wanna watch it again. I saw Powrplay in aroud last 5min. This is a two-edged-blade. Keeper become field player witout keep their goal. I cannot explain in English in detail but it was fun. Next time, i wanna watch pro league!
Then we moved to Manga cafe and spent 4hours! I read library-war but the series haven’t finished yet although the original has finished already. I have to go there again to see Dojyo——

I wanna do something new

I want to do something new thing which I never have done before. We are plannning to go Korea in July and if we could achieve his target, we will go to Toronto where we used to live in a short period. We go to rainbow theater, eaton center, Tim horton and may be Toront tower (I didn’t go there!) too. We didnt’t know each other when we were there but we lived very near area and probably passed by in somewere. I am really excited to look around Toront downtown with him together.

This summer, I wanna go revier and enjoy BBQ with my friends somewere in Minakami. We can stay at small guest house and sleep at one room everyone together lika a students camp. A few years ago, we went to river but at the time no kids. Now total four kids are our members and it is getting more exciting 🙂
I wanna have a baby too.

Also I need to loose my weight as much as possible. I try to finish dinner before 19:00 on weekdays and have a big breakfast next morning. I cannot have a result quikly but gradually is totally ok. I keep doing on my diet and want to achieve my target weight someday.
If I could get a figure I am satisfied, I feel like I can have a confidence for me. I wanna have a confidence.

Oh, I have to buy Toront metro budges!!!! Also, I want to buy Yoga wear on the king street.
There many many places we have memories. Toront is fantastic for us.

Recent days

The main things that has kept me busy was getting organized and I need to prepare for moving now.
I need to organize a lot of unneccesary paper.
Yesterday I met my friend and her kids and we enjoyed shopping and spendng really good time. She is talkative but really cute and so adrable. This is not flattary, she is so cute compare with other kids. After After saying good-bye to my friends, I realized I lost my cell somewhere. I remember that I used my phone the last was at the outside corner we had coffee. And I went to information then luckly my phone was took to another information center and I could have it but almost 30min was passed since I said good-bye to them… It was waste of time. But still I dont understand how my cell was dropped from my pants..umm

We are plannning to stay a nigt at hotel and have a garden BBQ at near Narita hotel with friends in June or July.
It will be difficult to adjust everyone’s schedule but I try to organize and want to have a great lady’s day. I am exicited now!!!

My future

I really wanna quit my job, seriously. I’ve been this company for about 5years and I became very negative in this 5years guradually. Now I am perfect of negative. The way of thinking for various situation, alway negative thing comes up my mind first. I like my job but I dont wanna a position that I made a decision, attending meeting alone like I dont wanna be a leader. I understand anyone expect about it to me but I may want to be like that thus I am under the stress my expectation.

I will quit my job if I couldnt have a baby in 6 month and I will concentrate fertility treatment. Meanwhile, I have to THAT to keep making money. fertility treatment takes a lot of cost so I have to do my best too.


I work so much, so much. this month’s my overtime will be over 60 deifenitely. As my hasband says, this is not my style. This is not the time to spend all my time to my job. We want a baby and I have to maintain my body condition in good for it.
This month I somohow made a time to go the clinic, sometime I was late and waited so long. this is really waste of time..
I totally understand now is far from the situation I was promised in the beginning. Shu asked me to appeal this is not promised-condition but I cannot say it in this crazy busy situation.. Most of people works till 10 or 11 and very tired. How can I say I want to leave office on time because it is promised-condition. But I have to realized that working until 23 is relly really crazy situation even though any crazy situation is happened. Our upper class people have to protect us.


I was not able to make up my mind which pearl necklace I should buy today. I fully understand that Mikimoto and Tasaki is good quality and probably they provide after-sales care service as well but expensive to my budget now. Tiffany’s price is good for me about half price of Mikimoto and Tasaki but it is not natural pearl. I can’t decide what I should buy today and I decided to keep saving 500yen more strictly. I am going to think about pearl around next winter again.
I am listening radio now. I really think I did the right shopping seriously. The Bluetooth speaker has also radio fanction and it seems like I use radio much more than Bluetooth, I wanted listen music by bluetooth though. The good point of radio is I dont need to see a monitor. thus I can do something else over listening music or someone’s talk. DJ delivers me various musics or information which I may not able to know if I dont liesten it. So radio gives me something new staff. Radio is great.

Happy days

Today I woke up at 10am and booked Hotel by Rakuten for Kyoto trip after Yoshi’s wedding. Then went to Yoga and got Subway sandwitches then went to home. After eating it, I cleaned up rooms and wiped floors.
These days I am so into making tasty coffee at my home. Yesterday I went to Union coffee in Kappabashi where has various coffee stuff, pot, Hario server and milk whip machine etc. Amazing! The taste is seriously different from Coffee machine one.
Coffee machine is a bit sour and doenst’t feel beans taste well. But Hario manial coffee’s taste is mild but can feel beans taste very well. This is really amazing. I want to try a flannel filter next time. Mom used to make a coffee by it and she said the taste is also very good. We found that we can go Kappabashi by bus without transfer and fare is much cheaper than using train 🙂 Bus is not crowded. It must be best way to go Asakusa. Also Asakusa has many ceramic wholesale stores. Some stores is very stylish and modern. They are a bit expensive but it’s ganna take much money if I would go to Mashiko in Tochigi pre to buy ceramic items by rental car. so I begin to wonder that buying them at Kappabashi is more effective. Anyway, I want to know tips to make tasty coffee even more! Probably I could buy suitable coffee mugs for home coffee next time.
Someday I want to treat my coffee to my friends at my home when I have a baby in the near future 🙂


why he can express his feeling and anger in such a childish way… I never understand it, never ever… sigh.
I’m going to go parents home since new year. I wanna see my father and talk how he spend everyday. we may go to local market to buy vegi and probably have a lunch as well. I love my parents and my habby

Devil Man

Devil Man was my favorite animation when I was child. I knew that it was remaked and animation is much better than before I prefer old style though. I love their theme song. When I look back, it seems like I prefer sad melody line. Anyway I was shocked that the devil is hero in the animation and devil fight againt evil. Suddendly their theme song struck me when I was taking a shower and as soon as I get out of bath, I checked it at Youtube 🙂 That is awsome.

Tomorrow is my hospital day.
I have to leave my office earlier around 15:30 and to go hospital. My happy probably comes home earlier so we can have a dinner together. He will be on business trip from Wed again so I want to spent my time with him as much as possible.
What do I ask for this time’s souvenier?? Japanese cracker? oh my, I realized that I am totally hungry.

Too much overtime work

My overtime work for this month is over 40 hours. It may unsurprise number for other people but for me honestly too much.
Of course I can have overtime money but I want to have more private time with my habby. He is on business trip half of month so the time he is in Tokyo has to be precious. But I surely expect that our team is going to be much busier than this month as new system will be started. I am scared.
By the way, it seems like spring is coming soon. It gets warmer, I feel like to go out and want to enjoy outdoor stuff.
This summer I want to go music fes like summer sonic or Fuji rock. I may ask to go for the music boy 🙂
Oh-oh, I have to complete an application of fun club of ARAHI earlier. Have to pick up one of member for my favorite on an apprication form which will be submitted to post officer. She will be known my favotire is Jun Matsumoto.

Yoga day

I did Yoga this morining and it was relax course. It been almost 2 yesar since I started Yoga so relax course was a bit boring for me. From next time, I should take more than regular course.
After Yoga, I meet my hasband at Orange house and bought rice bin which I really wanted it because I got some bugs to my keeping rice. I put red pepper as well to keep away bugs.
When we went to home, we took a nap until 18:30 and habby went to footsal. I have to take off my hat to his passion for futsal. Even snowing or raining as long as his condintion is not bad, he goes to futsal at least once a week. Sometimes he join it in Toyama during his business trip. I love his energetic style 🙂

Feel sick

Since I took the medicine, I feel really bad… I am totally cotrolled by hormone.  How can I get over from my longtime condition. When?

Yesterday was terrible. I woke up 12 and took a nap at living room almost 4hours and went to bed at 10pm. What did I do? What could I do for yesterday? I am really sick and tired for my condition.


I took afternoon dayoff and I am going to visit the women’s hospital to checout. I expected that this week won’t be busy during Chinese holiday but in fact, there is no time to file a lot of paper which need to be organizted… OK, I


I worked after three-day weekends and was tired. I noticed that I didn’t do new stuff today although I decided to do something new at least one in a day.  Umm, I had a lunch at my desk? I ate the snow balls which is recommended by my colleague. yes these are new 🙂

By the way,  I am so into Subway these days. I didn’t know that I can have a lot of vegetable and it is very very delicious! Also they serve us extra or even double vegetable

without any charge. What a great system… Amazing Subway.

My friend’s weeding party will be held on this weekend and I have to put myself on hard diet to show myself  good somehow. I have only a week so I need to take diet shakes…   Go for it.


Beauty day

I had a hair cut and went to nail salon. I made bangs and current my hair style is Bob so my habby told me it is like a KURIBO. What is more, my hair color is kinda brown. But I don’t care about it, as long as I like it, It is all ok.