I got my period last Thursday when I was at office so I wasn’t so depress comppare coz I could keep myself busy to forget about it. And also I expected that I have my period this month again. I don’t know why but we cannot have a baby normally then we need to the advanced tecnology method. Oh my god how much going to take for this? It is pretty unfair someone have a baby but they don’t want to but who really want to have it cannot get it… Oh my life, I didn’t know that have a baby is so expensive. I should have taken care of my health. But there is no point in regretting what I have done so I am going to take care of myself from today!!!

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This weekend I didn’t do anything and just I was relaxed at my home with my hasband. oh, I went to Yasukuni shrine and walked along Imperial palace to see cherry blossom from early-evening. We ate Kebabu and some chiken skewers and had dinner at Indinan restaurant in Jinbocho. and then we walked to Ochanomizu sta. and took sobu line to go home.
This was the first time to go Yasukuni although my juninor college is very near it. I really regret that I didn’t walk around the college after school at all. What on the earth was my two years college life…? I hate myself…
I still don’t know what I want to do and I really don’t like my apprearance. I tried diet hundred times but never ever compete it. what on the earth my life?

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I went to the Korean restaurant near my house with my hasband and ate Tofu soup that was so yummy. I really enjoyed it. Mom talked to me and I was happy like we are recognized as a frequent customer!! I had heavy stomachahe… feel like my period comes soon.

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Today I went to Meguro river side to see Cherry bloosom after work. This was the first time to go there, there were so many nice restaurants between station and river. A lot of standing wine bars, nice atmoshere restaurants anyway there was great town!! I want to live there but must be the rent is expensive though… I also like the Meguro cinema. The cinema shows past moveis which are not showed anymore usual cinemas. I was helped them many times to see some movies which I missed to see them in theater. Now I wanna have a baby and give up drinking so I cannot fully enjoy Meguro restaurants but someday in near future, I go there with my firends and dring a lot of beers and wine as mush as I can without thinking anything!!!

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Why my body gives me terrible things to me!? I keep working for me but my body haven’t given me anything!!!
What should I do more for myself? Am I bad? Am I worng? What on the earth wants from me more? Pleae let me know.
I don’t want to waste of my time anymore even 1month. I can’t stand seriously anymore.
I drunk beer after long absence. It made me relax and happy. I love alchol!!
If I could have a bady I believe I can quit drining for a while so please give me a baby sooner and wanna dring without any worries!!!!! If God exists, Please really help me from this tough days. I almost break down…

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I left office early and went to women’s hospital for first check of this month. today is 9th but it is getting bigger and I got injection. then I realized that taking a bath to makes my body warm and have a well-balance dinner is good for body.
Than another important thins is increasing the number of that. Not only that but also the thing is important. We have to to do our best!!!

トリンドルちゃんCMの脱毛サロン

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Oh my god~~~~!! My teeth turned brown what is more Front teeth!!! I have to go my dentist tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, otherwise I cannot laugth. I am going to brush my teeth after every lunch after visiting my dentist.
I cannnot stand dirty teeth.. On my god~~~

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12/11
I had to be hard on a guy coz he made mistakes and I really really don’t like it. do I want to be loved everyone? I really wana quit my job.

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I really don’t like to be hard on someone like today even though he is wrong.. I understand I have to say more strongly but I cannot do this. And I pause to realize that I really dont’t like my job and not suit for me. It is really hard to keep working with thinkng I don’t like it. I need to do something happy thing on weekend. I want to go somewhre by car. I wanna go to the trickart in Nasu!

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My room’s bath have so much trouble of drainage after taking bath. I cannot stand it anymore I have to call our building manater. Shu must have felt stress about it, sorry.
The girl on the TV now is only 27 year-old and she is chief editor of fashion magagine. Wow. I was watching “Sarameshi” but these kind of not healthly lunch is not good for her body. The strong working women are everywhere. Am I easy on myself? Who cares.

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12/1
Finally I changed to iphone5s Yay! Internet runs so smoothly and feel so good!
This morning I went to Hair salon –> iphone change –> Nail salon –> My friend’s house for dinner. I had a very productive day.

12/2
I took PM off with my co-worker and saw [Eien no zero] at a preview!!! Our seat were on the extremely left on 2nd floor but still Okada-kun made us so crazy. The movie had almost same story as the novel and so good. We had been crying since the movive started till end. We couldn’t help crying to see it because we are very impressed the original novel.
Also when we left the preview place, we met Mr.Yamazaki, director of this movie. We shook hands with him and his hands were so soft.. like a baby! We also met Mr.Hyakuta writer of this novel but we couldn’t get his autograph.. oh, I should have said something nifty thing..

12/6
after all, my period came again. I feel even more keenly that my body is not ready yet for pregnant. I just have to adjust my body for this year. I defenitely adjust and make my body for pregnant!

12/7
Next clinic appointment is 13th or 14th. But this is 11th from period so I think it is too early. I really cannot believe the doctors in the hospital. they never answer my questions emopathetically at all. they never worry their patients they just want to see more patiens and want more money. If I could be pregant, I never go there when we want to 2nd baby.

12/8
After long absense, I had a makeup lesson. I learned how to make turn down eyes and shiny base. I like it.
Next is last lesson and I am going to ask how to use lip pensil and eye lush. oh, I need to make a resevation.

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I left my office earlier and went to women’s clinic. Although the time a doctor spent to me was only 3min but I waited about 45min at waiting room. How ridicurous it is everytime. I am going to take a medicine once a day at night after dinner from tomorrow for 5days. And revisit the clinic 10days later before Korean trip. I hope next visit will be the day we return from Korea on 18th. We will arrive at Narita around 12pm so probably I can visit before 5pm which hours is not so crowed. I really hope we can see a baby. I went to my brother’s new-build house this weekend with my hasband by train and we met nephews after all the time. Older nephew will be 6 years next Feb and he is fully grown man :-) He knows well about trains and subways and he explained about it to us. It was so cute and we are also surprised that he is so mature. He tried to drink “coffee” alghough he couldn’t finish it but still cute.
I want to have a baby like him :-)

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Im going to go shopping and have a dinner with my friends in Shibuya. We are ganna go to Yakiniku, I am really excited it!
I’ve been wanted to eat MEAT with Beer!! Recently I cannot drink beer same as before and I am dissapointed myself. Especially last week I drunk wine but my friend and I couldn’t finish it. This weekend I wanna try myself.

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My friend moved to the new place due to various reasons and I helped the move then stayed over at her place last night.
After putting almost stuff to propery places and received new bed, shelf and table, I felt there is sooo cozy and comfortable :-)
I really wanna move to west side of Tokyo! The people live in there is different from east side totally. I saw an old woman spitted on the road in the early morning before near the station. If I would have a baby I dont want her or him to see such a kind of people. I believe the enviroment is the most important and it will impact on a baby’s future.
I wanna move west side, have a baby and lose my weight!!!

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I went to Skytree with Mom last weekend finally. She wanted to go there to check “Moonmie shop” but it was much smaller than we expected but we got a lot of stuff ^^ I bought a mug of Mi for mom as her late birthday present. I want her to use it every morning with coffee. I also checked much larger Moomine shop in Nikotama I waana go there soon. We had Sushi lunch in Soramachi which was kinda expensive but mom treated me, thanks mom ;) Then we went to Planetarium which I’ve been wanted to go since I was in Toronto. I went to there in Toronto but I wasn’t impressed it unfortunately. The Soramachi planetarium has three different stories depends on show time. 20:00 and 21:00 has Hearling planetarium I want to see it with my hasdand.

We talked about Trip. we’ve been wated to go Italy for three years. I wened to there two years ago as honeymoon so I feel a bit guilty… If I had a baby we cannnot go there at least 5 years. so I think this is the time to go in this year.
I want to have a baby but also I want to have a lot of memory with mom before she gets older. I can easily expect it will be very tough trip and be upset many times but 10 or 20 years later it will be a good memory defenitely.

I love you, mom.

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I went to Meguro cinema with my co-workers to see Library wars!!! The movie was finished in usual theaters but it is played only this week in Meguro cinema :) I believe it is kind of our luck to see Okada-kun in the movie begore releasing their DVD. We are totally into the original novels and crazy about it. Thus The God let me find a sports bra at crossover bridge and inform me that the movie will be go on again for us to see Okada-kun. Thank you so much, I really appreciate it.

It wasn’t completed the whole novel story but it seems like it will be issued sequel story like love story.
Before that, we have to go to see ” Eien no Zero” in Dec 2013. I hope until then I’m going to have a baby..
I forgot to take antibiotics completely.. Oh my god.

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I love Kuramae! The main food the restaurant we went is a kind of special brown rice with some side dishes. We wanted fish or meat dish but all sold out so we had only some small one. After then, we went to the furniture shop and stationary shop. We can make original note books from parts. Choose front and back covers and also inside paper too. The inside paper can be changed at the store. so we can use the covers for years :) This is a great thing, isnt’t it? I made a notebook for next year! I’m ganna use it with caution.
Then we moved to Asakusabashi sta. by walk and went to Kinshicho to watch futsal game. It was very fun I wanna watch it again. I saw Powrplay in aroud last 5min. This is a two-edged-blade. Keeper become field player witout keep their goal. I cannot explain in English in detail but it was fun. Next time, i wanna watch pro league!
Then we moved to Manga cafe and spent 4hours! I read library-war but the series haven’t finished yet although the original has finished already. I have to go there again to see Dojyo——

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I want to do something new thing which I never have done before. We are plannning to go Korea in July and if we could achieve his target, we will go to Toronto where we used to live in a short period. We go to rainbow theater, eaton center, Tim horton and may be Toront tower (I didn’t go there!) too. We didnt’t know each other when we were there but we lived very near area and probably passed by in somewere. I am really excited to look around Toront downtown with him together.

This summer, I wanna go revier and enjoy BBQ with my friends somewere in Minakami. We can stay at small guest house and sleep at one room everyone together lika a students camp. A few years ago, we went to river but at the time no kids. Now total four kids are our members and it is getting more exciting :)
I wanna have a baby too.

Also I need to loose my weight as much as possible. I try to finish dinner before 19:00 on weekdays and have a big breakfast next morning. I cannot have a result quikly but gradually is totally ok. I keep doing on my diet and want to achieve my target weight someday.
If I could get a figure I am satisfied, I feel like I can have a confidence for me. I wanna have a confidence.

Oh, I have to buy Toront metro budges!!!! Also, I want to buy Yoga wear on the king street.
There many many places we have memories. Toront is fantastic for us.

ダイエット効果が期待のホットヨガ

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The main things that has kept me busy was getting organized and I need to prepare for moving now.
I need to organize a lot of unneccesary paper.
Yesterday I met my friend and her kids and we enjoyed shopping and spendng really good time. She is talkative but really cute and so adrable. This is not flattary, she is so cute compare with other kids. After After saying good-bye to my friends, I realized I lost my cell somewhere. I remember that I used my phone the last was at the outside corner we had coffee. And I went to information then luckly my phone was took to another information center and I could have it but almost 30min was passed since I said good-bye to them… It was waste of time. But still I dont understand how my cell was dropped from my pants..umm

We are plannning to stay a nigt at hotel and have a garden BBQ at near Narita hotel with friends in June or July.
It will be difficult to adjust everyone’s schedule but I try to organize and want to have a great lady’s day. I am exicited now!!!

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I really wanna quit my job, seriously. I’ve been this company for about 5years and I became very negative in this 5years guradually. Now I am perfect of negative. The way of thinking for various situation, alway negative thing comes up my mind first. I like my job but I dont wanna a position that I made a decision, attending meeting alone like I dont wanna be a leader. I understand anyone expect about it to me but I may want to be like that thus I am under the stress my expectation.

I will quit my job if I couldnt have a baby in 6 month and I will concentrate fertility treatment. Meanwhile, I have to THAT to keep making money. fertility treatment takes a lot of cost so I have to do my best too.

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