I hate myself

Why my body gives me terrible things to me!? I keep working for me but my body haven’t given me anything!!!
What should I do more for myself? Am I bad? Am I worng? What on the earth wants from me more? Pleae let me know.
I don’t want to waste of my time anymore even 1month. I can’t stand seriously anymore.
I drunk beer after long absence. It made me relax and happy. I love alchol!!
If I could have a bady I believe I can quit drining for a while so please give me a baby sooner and wanna dring without any worries!!!!! If God exists, Please really help me from this tough days. I almost break down…

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